Fail to Thrive

 

Fail to Thrive

I want to look at two ways to consider the phrase, "Fail to Thrive," first focusing on the word "Thrive." Failure to thrive is most often associated with a child's physical development and can be the result of any number of variables: some intentional (like a parent refusing to feed or properly care for a child),  and others outside one's control (injury at birth, birth defects, or children born into areas of extreme poverty). 

A baby has no control over the variables that contribute to their ability to thrive. But as we get older, we begin to have some control over the factors that can lead to our own thriving. I know for many years, my failure to thrive included physical failures that were entirely within my control such as avoiding exercise, habitual gluttony, and poor nutrition. I knew in my head what proper nutrition looked like, I just chose to ignore those guidelines. The reality is that while I may have claimed to be a Christian, I was actually living a hedonist lifestyle. According to Wikipedia, 

"Hedonism is a school of thought that argues seeking pleasure and avoiding suffering are the only components of well-being." 

While I was in bondage to obesity, my definition of pleasure was indulging in high fat, carb-dense, sugary foods. And my idea of avoiding suffering was to not force myself to eat "yucky" vegetables or to exert myself with any form of exercise (well other than the repetitive movements hand-to-mouth, or walking back into the kitchen for my next snack).  The irony is that those culinary pleasures were actually the instrument of death and disease. I have no doubt that had I continued on the path I was travelling, I would soon have been pre-diabetic and eventually diabetic. I was putting myself at risk for heart disease, high blood pressure and a number of other morbidities. Sobering to think how years of failure really can catch up with you. (On the flip side, the really good news is that when we start to make healthy changes, our bodies have miraculous healing capability so that we can slow down disease, and in some cases even reverse the effects of past choices). 

As for exercise, I wrongly viewed it as a form of suffering that I avoided at all costs. I think as a young person, my aversion to activity was rooted in my less-than-athletic tendencies. I miserably failed at organized sports and in school, physical education was the one class that sunk my gpa. I remember being a sophomore and the gut-wrenching dread of knowing that was the year we had to run a mile (a herculean task in my mind!).  I started running on my own because I wanted to show improvement. The really discouraging thing was that even though I did show a marked improvement over the semester, I failed to get an "A" because I had not completed a mile in a specified amount of time (I still have mixed feelings about that grading scale). And although those grades no longer matter, the defeatist feeling it fostered was that no matter how hard I tried, I would never measure up. That led to the dangerous conclusion, "So why bother trying at all?" 

Part of my healthy transformation for me involved reframing my attitude toward food. Instead of thinking of eating as recreation, I began to think of it as refueling. In a country with so much abundance (and let's be honest, a whole lot of waste), we often turn basic needs like food, clothing and shelter into forms of entertainment or even worship. We seek the pleasure of a fancy restaurant, desire expensive clothing brands, and strive for a more pampered shelter. While those pleasures can be enjoyed as part of the blessings God gives us, the primary purpose of those basic needs are to fuel our body, cover our nakedness, and shield us from the elements. 

Fail to Thrive

Now let's focus on the "Fail" part of the phrase. What are the ways that we set ourselves up for our own failure? 

• Buying junk food (junk doesn't just magically appear in my cupboard)
• Not planning meals and resorting to the convenience of fast food
• Avoiding healthy people so we don't feel guilt over our weight
• Blaming our weight problem on "bad" genetics or God "making me this way"
• Trying to "go it alone"
• Ignoring the underlying issues that led to weight issues 

I have been guilty of all the above. Thankfully, someone cared enough about me to risk my embarrassment and my rejection by offering a path to freedom. There are a number of ways one can get healthy, but only one that finally worked for me and I am willing to help others who want more information about the tool I used on my journey (just message me). If  you choose a different strategy, that's fine. The important thing is to not let past failure determine your future success when it comes to getting healthy. 

 

Failure is a natural part of life. But every time we fall, we have the opportunity to stand up. Failure can be the predecessor of thriving--in some cases, even a necessary precursor to thriving. And remember God may use your failures to bring freedom to others. Let's reframe failure and view it as a stepping stone to a future triumph.

So what do we do with all our failure?  The music group, We the Kingdom, has a great suggestion for where to leave those failures in their song, God So Loved:

"Bring all your failures 
Bring your addictions 
Come lay them down
At the foot of the cross
Jesus is waiting there 
With open arms"

God knows our failures and they are often the result of our sin. But the good news in Romans 5:8 is that, "God shows his love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." He died for us in the midst of our sin & failures and it's only when we live for Him, that we can find true freedom.

God loved enough to send Christ to die for me,

do I love enough to live for Him?