The Hand You Were Dealt

I want to give credit to my oldest daughter for the inspiration for this blog post. When she was in high school, she created an autobiography of her life for an English class. She loved playing cards with friends so she selected the title, "The Hand I Was Dealt" and talked about her life experiences up to that point.  Each chapter in her book was related to the theme of playing cards.

One chapter not included in her autobiography was about a physical struggle she started experiencing in late middle school. She was a very active athlete, participating in four sports each year. One summer during her softball season, she started having some back pain. It wasn't clear if it was related to an injury, but it was causing significant discomfort. Although my daughter remembers some initial complaining when it first started, I honestly do not recall that. Throughout high school and college, she never complained.  

Her stoic, suffer-in-silence trait was definitely not inherited from me. It may have come from her father, or perhaps just an outworking of her own independent, determined self (earliest signs of this trait were evident when she potty-trained herself at age 2). The discovery of that pain began a several-year journey trying to figure out a way to alleviate it.

She was seen by more than one doctor as well as a chiropractor (the latter was the one who correctly identified the issue of fused discs in her spine--most likely from birth). We tried a variety of treatments and she was a trooper through them all. I remember for an injection in her spine, she wanted a mirror to be able to see what they were doing (I think she also asked if she could take pictures but that wasn't allowed).  When she had a nerve burning, they let her keep the x-ray of the four needles in her back.  Unfortunately, nothing helped and we finally gave up.  Every recommended treatment was tried and nothing made a difference.  The only option left was back surgery and we were advised to wait decades before considering that.

As a parent, it has been hard knowing that we cannot change the hand our daughter was dealt. But what I admire so much about my daughter is that she never let that pain interfere with living life to its fullest. This daughter has gone skydiving and surfing in Hawaii, as well as hiking, rock climbing, and white water rafting in Colorado.  She works out, downhill skiis, plays club tennis and you still never hear a word of complaint pass her lips. I hope someday I can be more like my daughter. 

For many years, I blamed my poor health on the hand I was dealt. Making excuses and blaming my genetics or assuming I was just born with slow metabolism, a lack of athleticism, and predisposed to carrying extra weight. Instead of going after solutions, I kept making excuses and put up with misery for too many years. My default of finding every reason to AVOID doing hard things is quite a contrast to my daughter who found every reason for DOING hard things. 

Have you struggled with the hand you have been dealt? Perhaps you are grappling with a child's genetic disorder or a family member's medical emergency--not the kind of hand anyone wants to have dealt to them. Maybe the hand you wanted was a house full of children and you were dealt infertility. Maybe you wanted to serve as a missionary, but you were dealt health issues that prevented you from going overseas. You may have dreamed of one particular career, but were dealt doors that all seemed to slam in your face. You wanted to grow old with your spouse, but you were dealt widowhood.

In the face of the most dire circumstances, most of us can still find something to be grateful for. And yet we are a people prone to grumble, aren't we? Consider the Israelites, only recently delivered from slavery and miraculously led safely through the Red Sea, who were soon cursing their lot and romanticizing the days of their slavery in Numbers 11:5-6,

"In Egypt we could eat all the fish we wanted, and there were cucumbers, melons, onions, and garlic. But we're starving out here, and the only food we have is this manna."

Did they really want to continue as slaves? Was eating well as slaves truly better than eating manna in freedom?  Sometimes the Lord asks his followers to do hard things. You probably won't be asked to wander in a desert (although if you are, remember that grumbling can turn a two week journey into a 40 year detour!). 

When we are faced with circumstances that involve suffering, sacrifice, or surrender we can take great comfort in the following truths. 

1. Every card we are dealt, first passed through the loving hands of the Dealer (God).

When faced with a trial, we may be tempted to doubt that a good and perfect God could deal the hand we received.  Everyone loves the promise of  James 1:17, 

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."

But we may shrink back from the words in James 1:2-3, 

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

Notice Paul said "when" you encounter trials (not "if!").  Another important distinction is that the joy is not in the trial itself but in the knowledge that our faith, being tested through trials, will result in endurance. And endurance perfects and completes our faith. Much like muscles get stronger through trial and exertion, our faith is strengthened and made stronger through trials. Trials prove the quality and depth of our faith.

The reality is that you cannot curse the hand you were dealt without cursing the Dealer. Consider the hand that Jesus was dealt: giving up His life to pay the penalty of death for a fickle, unfaithful people. He willingly accepted the hand He was dealt and offered it back to the Father to secure our redemption. The Father's plan of redemption was motivated by love. And Jesus' obedience to that plan was motivated by love as well. 

2. God will use every affliction for your good.

With our limited view of reality, we may struggle to see how God can bring about good in what we are facing. During times of discouragement or defeat, believers can cling to the promise of Romans 8:28,

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Some affliction can stem from our own actions but many afflictions are outside of our control. But the promise is that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him. When I was a junior in high school, my father's job was eliminated and he was looking at a relocation within the company. I believe his choices were Texas, Tennessee, or Wisconsin. Wisconsin was at least midwestern and offered the possibility of driving back to visit my mother's family and friends. Moving in high school may not seem like much of an affliction, but it was pretty earth shattering for me. I was the youngest of five children and I would be the only one who didn't graduate from the same school my siblings did. 

I wasn't a very pleasant daughter for quite some time after the announcement we would be moving but I remember reading in my devotional time about God calling Abraham to leave his home and later, asking him to sacrifice his only son. I felt that moving was my opportunity to obey the Lord and sacrifice what I had held dear up to that point. So in March of my Junior year, I was trying to make new friends. The really cool thing was that I met a girl whose parents had been medical missionaries. She was a strong Christian and she made those last three months of my Junior year an amazing experience.  She was a year older and therefore graduated that spring, but with her help I had gotten settled into my new school. It wasn't all sunshine and roses, but that was definitely a time when I could see God working for my good. 

If you have ever felt that you have made a mess of your life, and wonder how God could possibly bring about good, I recommend a wonderful book written by Michelle Rayburn. I was blessed to be her roommate for a semester while we were in college. After graduation, we corresponded by email through the raising of our kids.  Her book is called, The Repurposed and Upcycled Life, (affiliate link) and has numerous examples of ways that God took situations that most of us consider trash and repurposed them into something new and beautiful.  

3. God comforts us in affliction so we may comfort others. 

Comfort may be the furthest thing from our minds when we are suffering through a trial, but comfort plays a dual role in affliction according to 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too." 

I love the concept that God is a Father of mercies and God of all comfort--particulary in our affliction.  Exactly the time when we need the most comfort. But the comfort we receive is not intended for only ourselves. The ultimate purpose of God's comfort is that we would in turn comfort others through their afflictions. 

Consider what a privilege it is for a believer to partner with God by helping administer comfort to others! That not only redeems our own suffering but helps carry someone else through their deep valleys. And they in turn can help others. Think of the multiplying benefit if each of us used our own trials to bring comfort to those around us. And perhaps most importantly, the way in which we help comfort others may offer them a glimpse of the Comforter Himself and help bring them to saving faith. 

If you are in need of God's comfort, I highly recommend the book written by Hannah Whitall Smith called, The God of All Comfort (affiliate link). Originally written in 1906, you will be amazed at how relevant her thoughts are for today.

4. Every affliction presents the opportunity for Christ's power to be manifested. 

When we are faced with afflictions, sometimes the Lord heals or removes the affliction after a time, but sometimes He chooses not to remove an affliction.  In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, we learn that Paul suffered from a thorn in the flesh and God chose to not remove it: 

"So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

If you have prayed for something to be removed and the Lord has not removed it, we have the promise that Christ's grace will be sufficient. And not only that, but every affliction or weakness provides an opportunity for His power to be displayed. His power may show up as a supernatural peace in the midst of the squalling storm around you.  It may be manifested through the loving care of friends, family, or fellow church members. His power may be revealed as the strength you need to make it through each day.

The afflictions we face may seem interminable while we are living through them but the span of our life is a mere breath in light of eternity. I love how Paul describes our afflictions in 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, 

"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 

For believers, the hand we were dealt is but a transitory reality and those afflictions were meant to prepare us for eternity. What we see and experience on earth is fleeting. We must take our eyes off the cards in our hand and fix our gaze on the one who offers the best deal of all--eternal life with Him:

"I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will ever snatch them out of my hand." John 10:28 (ESV)

 Now that's a winning hand!